Siddhartha's Journey By: Nick W

Nick Weibel
January 20, 2009
A: Block
Siddhartha’s Journey

It all started with the Siddhartha fan club I joined a few months ago. I didn’t think any thing of it for a while till I was randomly chosen to show Siddhartha some of the attractions we Americans take part in. His agent, Tom and I talked through e-mails and he let me know that this was real and not some scam.
“Siddhartha will be flying into Bradley International airport at 4:00 am on January 18, 2009. Make sure when you se him you greet him you give him a lit incense stick and put lei over his head to show respect,” said Tom in an email.
Sid must hate me already, I can’t believe I am four hours late to pick him up. I said to myself as I was approaching the airport. He wasn’t mad at all though. He some how gathered the attention of seven beautiful women all of them stewardess, and all of were a different race.
I walked up to him and all these women, when he saw me he pushed them away and ran to me as if he had known me for years. He pulled me over and made this petite little Korean girl sit on my lap. He explained to me how he got all these girls “All I did was comment on this paper book called penthouse. This word caught my eye and made me laugh. Sexy time it really works for the lady’s when they think you only know one word”.
It took us two hours to get out of the airport kind of ridiculous since I had been 4 hours late in the first place. When we left he told me how excited he already was about American culture and how much freedom we have. I said to myself, you haven’t seen anything yet. Where I’m bringing you right now, you are going to go nuts. “Six Flags only five minutes away from here”.
I wonder if he’s going get sick on the rides, what ever we’ll see what happens.
“Just wait until we get to the water park where all the hot babes in bikinis are, just be aware of the freakishly large women soaking up all of the sun.” I said to Siddhartha
“What are bikinis Nick?” He asked.
We finally arrived at the front gates. We heard nothing but the bustling of people in and out of the park. Peoples cheers as their whipping around on coasters and other rides. (I wish you could have seen his face, he was amazed).
“Those damn Samanas are standing by a fire fasting in the woods, they are accomplishing nothing. Look where I am now I love it here thank you, thank you so much!” Said Siddhartha, with a huge grin on his face. I laughed hysterically, we hadn’t even gotten to the receptionist and he was going crazy. As we walked through the gates and past security we ran into a bit of a problem. Sid always wore nine pounds of bronze jewelry around his neck and on his hands, but its like pulling teeth to have him take them off.
It took up seven hours from when I picked him up till now but its all worth it. To start off we got in line at Scream. I let him lead the way and that’s where we ended up. To him it must have seemed like a tower to the heavens. He sat staring in awe at how magnificent the towering malice in front of him was.
“Besides Kamala’s perfect body this is the most amazing thing I have ever seen in my life”. Said Sid
I laughed hysterically at what he had said. “Just wait till we get all strapped in and the count down starts”. I said to him.
I will admit taking Siddhartha to six flags right after a fifteen hour plane ride from India. Right after we exited scream. Siddhartha ran out of the park like a bat out of hell. On his way out the gates, he threw up all over two Looney Toon mascots. Damn I hope he doesn’t get taken down by park security, to be honest Sid looked like some kind of terrorist if you asked me.
Nothing happened but it was a hell of an experience for me. I’m sure it was for him also. After a while I noticed that something was bothering Siddhartha. He told me about Kamala and how he had gotten her pregnant. They had made a child out of lust. It was really bothering him I could tell. I know what will make you happy Sid lets head to the titty bar.
“What is a titty bar?” He asked me.
“ Yeah a strip club its where us men go when we feel like getting drunk while watching beautiful women get naked and dance for us. It’s not exactly the nicest place in the world but the girls are to die for”.